The Ties That Bind

 
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“This could be the making of you…Or your ruining.”

This could be the beginning of all sorts of good, new, scary, interesting things—things that give me pause and wonder and alight on my heart like the migrating monarch—or I could be laid to waste during this time of fearful re-imagining, left to writhe and drown in the shallow puddles of indecision, fear, and uncertainty.  It’s better to not spend too much time on this, to allow my brain and my heart the space to seek out those darker, whispering corners.  

There are little life-lines, attached to my waist, gently tugging at my hips, that remind me not to go into those mucked-out doom spaces; little love-tethers of different lengths, some that pull Morse code messages of support, reminders that I’m not on this journey alone, that no matter how closely I stumble near those dark spaces, there are strong bands that will guide me to safer stretches. 

Most of these little life-lines, these ribbons of rescue and goodwill, are strong, no matter their length, their material, their tangles and knots. There are, however, a few tethers I have meant to cut loose as of late, as they are not there to help or guide, but instead ground my movement, impede my rescue, or serve to strangle the parts of my heart that need the most latitude.  Most of these churlish cords are obvious, presenting themselves as false friends, as liars, or even worse—as limbless lovers that remain ungrounded, offering decaying branches and rotten fruit.  I’ve begun to sharpen my knives, my machete and my teeth, preparing to slash and chew at the ties that bind—the restraints that fetter and fault my safe passage.

It’s a time for clarity and conscience and honesty and light. Anything else shall be swiftly severed.

And now for an update:

1. Still looking for a job, I've been tidying up my resume and have met w/the fine folks at the Workforce Center; I've some hope that career counseling might prove helpful.

2. Marriage/Divorce is tricky and illuminating. Not for the meek. Best to be bold in these situations.

3. Cheers to romance and love and sex and all good things that make you smile with your entire being. Horizons are best viewed after having seen the darkest days and nights. My lasik'd eyes aren't really searching for such endeavors as of yet, but I'm happy for you, on your path. 

4.  Went to New Mexico and Texas. It was hot and expansive and a most interesting experience. I doubt I'll return for the same reasons.

5. For those of you that have come through, I love you more than you can imagine. If I hadn't told you lately, or if you're hiding because you don't know what to say, just ask. I'll tell you.

6. Watch this space. Also, watch Space. It gives a bit of perspective on your own reality, especially when you're re-appraising your very existence.

New soundtracks are forming every day for me. Each day seems to bring a new set of songs that bring a bit of relief or relevance or reality.

Here's a few, for me:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BrxZhWCAuQw
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lqmORiHNtN4
 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9tRgYfQ48A0

I'm not good at being quiet. I talk too much, I think too much, and I want too much. For some, this is irritating. Cut your tether.