Scratch the Scab

Dear Friends:

I/We have missed you during my/our unfortunate absence; we were positively swamped with the reparations and proper death and burial rights for an immense creature of postured "tastiness." Relatives gathering drunkenly, assuming the still-alive animal was fully cremated to it's per pound timing, were about to consume an enormous ball of listeria until I/We stepped in and maintained that one may not simply "eat around" the uncooked bits of the foul largesse. I/We apologize to all of you, and maintain that I/We did indeed save the day of "Thanksgiving" (for full FBoT Thanksgiving coverage, please send a SASE to: FBoT, USA).

In other concern, I/We at FBoT are concerned that you, dear reader, may be tiring of our pronoun confusion. Fear not, I/We have decided to investigate a support group that allows for all pronoun affiliations and denotations; I/We only want to be accepted in a world that shows an unrelenting prejudice toward pronoun insecurity/confusion. Please abide.

I/We have little else to report at this moment, save for the invasion of the fetal planting that remains within the FBoT host body. Said parasite seems to be faring well, moving rapidly, and demanding a tremendous amount of non-listeria-based comestibles. I/We try to meet it's needs, but frequently cannot estimate what sort of comestibles the parasite desires. Highly frustrating.

Until future time,
I/We

An Article, a Blog, an Essay, a Notation

tor'por: n. [Lat. < torpere, to be numb.] 1. Mental or physical inactivity or insensibility : SLUGGISHNESS. 2. Lethargy : apathy.

Welcome to Fluffy Bits o' Torpor. No exclamation. Here's another blogger with another blog, blogging about bloggy blogoblogs. Nothing to see here, folks. Move on. Really, wouldn't you rather enjoy some tantalizing story about "Photoshop Disasters" or "One Red Paperclip" or "Movie in a Bottle?" At those blogs, you will find informative, well-designed, heartened stories from people who have inspired and intelligent thoughts. Here at FBoT (FBoT Sad Robots (tm) will reach market this Christmas), you might get a bit of that, but mostly you'll read about your garden-variety lazy-crazy person (or people, as I/We haven't decided if I/We are a We, or an I).

Firstly, I/We must state that FBoT is not pleased with the designation and deterioration of the common "tab" function within the blog realm. I/We are forced to indent new paragraphs by utilizing the space bar. If an FBoT reader can send me some sort of electronic message to let me know how to function the tab on my MacSelectric, I'd/We'd be pleased as peas. Perhaps I/We may simply take a picture of what has been written using the ol' Bic, and scantron it into the comptrolla.

This may or may not be a site suitable for all. FBoT does not claim to induce amusement, laughter, or productive thought. FBoT refuses to admit or adhere to any liability FBoT may be accused of admonishing, big words, big words, I/We are smarter when we use big words. Please note that FBoT is not a safe space for black-market goods, including fruits, vegetables, babies, Jimmy Choos, and "Three-Legged" Gumby dolls. It is advised that any sensitivity towards "swears," "cuss-words," "slang-talk," and inappropriate connotations toward "naughty things," shall not be permitted, encouraged, endorsed, or allowed. Read the previous sentence one more time for clarity. I/We at FBoT permit, encourage, endorse, and allow free speech. In summation, piss off, you conservative, sanctimonious whiners.

Should FBoT continue, a faithful reader might find a useful way to waste select moments of time, per se, the 2 1/2 minutes required to disconnect from "dial-up" communications allow for ample perusal time of FBoT. I/We are sure that FBoT may serve to cause minor eye blurriness, and this may lead to a successful misreading of pre-naptime drowsiness (FBoT Sleepy-Time Dietary Suppressant Suppositories (tm) are set to hit market this January).

Until the next Fluffy Bit o' Torpor,
Love,
I/We