Scratch the Scab

Dear Friends:

I/We have missed you during my/our unfortunate absence; we were positively swamped with the reparations and proper death and burial rights for an immense creature of postured "tastiness." Relatives gathering drunkenly, assuming the still-alive animal was fully cremated to it's per pound timing, were about to consume an enormous ball of listeria until I/We stepped in and maintained that one may not simply "eat around" the uncooked bits of the foul largesse. I/We apologize to all of you, and maintain that I/We did indeed save the day of "Thanksgiving" (for full FBoT Thanksgiving coverage, please send a SASE to: FBoT, USA).

In other concern, I/We at FBoT are concerned that you, dear reader, may be tiring of our pronoun confusion. Fear not, I/We have decided to investigate a support group that allows for all pronoun affiliations and denotations; I/We only want to be accepted in a world that shows an unrelenting prejudice toward pronoun insecurity/confusion. Please abide.

I/We have little else to report at this moment, save for the invasion of the fetal planting that remains within the FBoT host body. Said parasite seems to be faring well, moving rapidly, and demanding a tremendous amount of non-listeria-based comestibles. I/We try to meet it's needs, but frequently cannot estimate what sort of comestibles the parasite desires. Highly frustrating.

Until future time,
I/We