Telling Relic

Found this whilst digging through old Word documents, in an effort to organize my growing number of saved applications, cover letters, and resumes.  The following document, titled "What I Want", is dated 11/11/05. Two years into marriage, I had already been through a severe depression (for which I was medically treated for one year), had done service in Chicago, became homeless and then gained residence, completed a year's worth of service for AmeriCorps, and was working for Barnes & Noble.  My children, my back injury, and my community theatre life had not come into existence.  I was hungry for something, but I didn't know what it tasted like.  I remember being content enough, but not particularly happy or joyful in my life. Not depressed, not exultant, just sort of abiding in a comfortable middle ground that was neither life-giving nor depleting.  It was only a few months later that I became pregnant with my son.

Interestingly, it wasn't until my children were born that I started to find and do the things that I wanted to do. I learned how to run, I got back into yoga, took some tap classes, learned to play the ukulele, made some paintings, got an ipod (it was '05, and I was still using a Discman, for goodness sake), returned to performance, and eventually saw all of the Harry Potter films.  During this time of constant change and upheaval in my personal life, it's nice to know that I got what I wanted, eventually, when I made the decision, for myself, to do the things I wanted to do. I'd be lying if I didn't say that I'm a bit excited about what the future might bring. (I'm also excited to find a bra that fits.)

 

What I Want: Long Term

1. Get some sort of grad/diploma degree for theatre/interdisciplinary arts.
2. Get a trade: yoga, carpentry, cooking, computer tech, esthestician, mechanics
3. Kid(s)?
4. Live in a bigger city
5. Travel—esp. eastern & western Europe
6. iPod
7. Get a promotion at B&N

What I Want: Short Term

1. Go to movie by myself.
2. Make a painting.
3. Finish a story.
4. Take a yoga class.
5. Take a dance class.
6. Take guitar lessons.
7. Get a bra that fits.
8. Get shoes that fit and are comfy.
9. Buy frames for pictures.
10. Go to work.
11. See the new Harry Potter.
12.